HOW TO TALK LIKE A GOALIE

This was (re-)posted to the Goaltender Mailing List on November 1, 1995 by Dave Steinhart, and was originally posted by Stormwind. I found it both useful and entertaining.

"SLOT!": There's a guy standing right in front of me who's going to tip the bloody thing in if you don't tip HIM over first...
"TURN AROUND!": There's a guy standing right behind you who's either going to push you over, or score on the rebound, could you please look over your shoulder and get him to move?
"ROUND THE BACK!": Please shoot the puck around the back of the net before the guy breathing down your neck decides to take it away from you.
"time, time": This is spoken in a much quieter voice. You've got plenty of time to set it up, don't just dump the thing.
"ONE ON!": You have one person closing at high speed on your location.
"TWO ON!": There are two people closing at high speed on your location.
"[fill in the number] ON!": There are X players closing at high speed on your location.
"RAUGH!": Hit me and you die.
"LEFT!" or "RIGHT!": You're blocking my view of the faceoff, please move a foot in the indicated direction.
"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!": I am in major trouble, and unless you ice the puck RIGHT NOW they will score a goal off this rebound.
"GO GO GO GO GO!": If you hustle, you can get a breakaway, because they're either all at a dead stop, bunched up, or not paying any attention. Please do not stop to look for someone to pass it to.
Another trick, when stopping a breakaway or a single shooter closing, is to either stand your ground or, when you're certain you're off-angle and they're going to score anyways, rush them and howl at the top of your lungs. I've known opponents who have either a) fallen over in astonishment, or b) completely fanned the shot in shock.
Please note that the "yell as an attack" method is not one to be casually used and is best saved for special situations. One fellow on another team used it ALL the time, with the end result that everyone giggled at him.